Me Have Questions

 
From: Lulu Blue
To: info@icbe.org
Date: Feb 16, 2008 1:11 PM
Subject: Chihuahua Bathroom Etiquette

Hello, Dr. Sykes!

I could kiss you! I’ve been searching high and low for a guide to bathroom etiquette and I just learned of your organization, The International Center for Bathroom Etiquette. I hope you can help resolve a messy situation for my mother and her beloved pet Chihuahua, Señor Weasel.

In short, Señor Weasel refuses to tinkle or poop in the traditional locations for a Chihuahua. Instead, he insists on using the urinals and toilets in my mother’s Palm Beach residence. Although one would think mother would be pleased that Señor Weasel is doing his duty in a clean and orderly manner, mother is outraged that the $3,500 she spent on potty training lessons for Señor Weasel have resulted in an occasionally embarrassing dilemma for her male guests and suitors. (She recently divorced her fourth husband and is now on the prowl for her fifth mate.)

Can you provide bathroom etiquette for Chihuahuas? Do you think it’s unusual that Señor Weasel prefers urinals and toilets over the great outdoors? Have you heard of this type of behavior before?

Thank you for your time, Dr. Sykes. If you have any suggestions for Señor Weasel, we will all be exceptionally grateful.

All the best,
Lulu Blue

From: mike@icbe.org
To: Lulu Blue
Date: Feb 16, 2008 5:40 PM
Subject: Re: Chihuahua Bathroom Etiquette

Careful Lulu,

I’m a married man! But seriously, Señor Weasel sounds like a pretty clever dog to me. Clearly it’s unusual behavior, but I have a hard time finding much wrong with a dog who likes to use a toilet! There’s quite a bit of information about toilet training cats, but not as much for our canine friends.

That said, I also understand why your mom is frustrated after spending $3500 trying to educate Señor Weasel without any success. I’ve got to say though, if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it. If Señor Weasel isn’t going on the floor, staining the carpet or ruining the bedspreads, I say leave him be. Any man who’s going to have a long term relationship with your mother is going to need to grow to love Señor Weasel for all of his quirks.

Good luck!